Sunday, December 20, 2009
Many a times,
we lose what we really want
just because we don't know
what we really want.
we lose what we really want
just because we don't know
what we really want.
(10:39 PM)
Sunday, December 13, 2009
It's going to be close to 2 years
Since everything ended
And I haven't move much
It's like staying in the cinema
After a movie had ended
You watch the credits scrolled by
And wait in anticipation to see a surprise ending
Maybe something special will pop out
Maybe
And you're just playing with luck
In the end
Everyone got out of their seat and left
But you're still waiting
However
There's a limit to waiting
Because the next movie is starting soon
And the seat doesn't belong to you anymore
Soon enough
You will know you don't belong there
Or to put it across curtly
You're not welcome there
I haven't found the surprise ending I wanted
And my presence in here is becoming more destructive
Spoiling the next show for everyone
Maybe
I've long ran out of luck
Maybe
The ending was just not meant to be
Since everything ended
And I haven't move much
It's like staying in the cinema
After a movie had ended
You watch the credits scrolled by
And wait in anticipation to see a surprise ending
Maybe something special will pop out
Maybe
And you're just playing with luck
In the end
Everyone got out of their seat and left
But you're still waiting
However
There's a limit to waiting
Because the next movie is starting soon
And the seat doesn't belong to you anymore
Soon enough
You will know you don't belong there
Or to put it across curtly
You're not welcome there
I haven't found the surprise ending I wanted
And my presence in here is becoming more destructive
Spoiling the next show for everyone
Maybe
I've long ran out of luck
Maybe
The ending was just not meant to be
Block leave from 17th to 27th December. I'm going to take this time to relax and charge up for the upcoming year. It's nice to read another blog which shares the same sentiments as me. I don't know who does the blog belong to, but I can expect myself to type the same things as the author. Interesting.
Love is nothing more than a desire that the heart can't seem to have enough.
Instead of finding reasons for your incompetency
Find ways to fix it
Love is nothing more than a desire that the heart can't seem to have enough.
Instead of finding reasons for your incompetency
Find ways to fix it
(2:12 PM)
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Suddenly, I find that actually graduation dinner has nothing much for me to blog about because I was practically busy running around that night. The only thing I can ever conclude about Graduation dinner was that the whole event brought me on a roller coaster ride. A wild roller coaster ride. Sorry to my partner for not being able to be by her side for the whole night cause I had so many things to attend to, and thank you for being so understanding eh ;) pictures for that night are up on http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=125236&id=556573411&ref=share
And just a disclaimer, my partner is just my good friend who graciously accepted my offer to be my partner for the night. She's currently attached and so please do not ruin things for her by saying she's my girlfriend or whatsoever :)
So the whole dinner thing had ended like 2 weeks ago, but the experience of planning for it was enough to last a lifetime. haha. Back to camp, it had been a tiring past one week because of Land Combat Training which all divers have to go through. It's a totally different experience in comparison to physical training because combat fitness is something that we diver trainees never really train for. So it was hell tough for us. haha.
30 kg load on your back
2,4,6,12 km fast march
the gruesome mud puddle (where we sank our heads into!)
the unforgiving gravel roads
and the endless drills we had to do
AND FINALLY, Land Phase is all over!!! haha. Last week seemed like a second hellweek to me (due to all the midnight hammerings and close to 4 hours of sleep for 4 days). The previous hellweek seemed to focus on physical fitness, and this focused on combat fitness. It's something I'd honestly say, I don't wish to do it again. Perhaps that's my advantage for being in NDU :)
And so, close to 9 months of training as a trainee has come to an end after this phase of training. I'll be leaving dive school as a naval diver and move on to an operational site in NDU. I hope life will be easier there.
I had my 2 days off for monday and tuesday because I was going through my second field camp on hari raya puasa. So it's like compensating me :) BUT, everyone is having their exams and NS men are in camp, I'VE NO ONE TO PLAY WITH! :(((((
oh wells, it's tuesday already, so there's nothing much I can do about it anymore. Time to prepare to book in again. It's a short week ahead :)
What's the point of fighting a war
that you can never win?
my mind and heart can't seem to agree with each other.
(3:50 PM)
Saturday, November 21, 2009
It's time for some late pictures from graduation day!
Starting off with the impactful land display with our trusty boats
Following by the underwater display but because of the bad seating position in the gallery, there's only one nice photo taken by my sister :/
Presenting to you, 31st batch of Naval Divers
And awards presentation. Was feeling really happy to receive the best leader award from Commander NDU. There's this great sense of achievement that cannot be expressed in words. This is the proudest moment of my life people.
Getting the Best Leader's Oar
Donning of the Hard Hat by Commander of NDU
And my screwed up speech
The Terrifying HMS Terror Jump
And my family, I guess dad was a little nervous when they wanted to interview him. haha.
We graduated!
Unforgettable of course. The moment of passing out is the pride of my life. Been through so much and finally, I made it there. And on top of all, the best leader award is like icing to the cake. Though my sister is laughing at me when I don on the hard hat 'cause she thinks it looks funny. haha. Graduation dinner's pictures up next week :)
Though receiving the best leader award seems like a big hoo ha, it is actually far from it. It just means more work for me and I'm feeling it now. The expectations are breathing down on me and it feels so heavy. Sometimes, it is so heavy that you can hardly breath. But nevertheless, I must live up to the name of one. No matter how hard it is.
Unforgettable of course. The moment of passing out is the pride of my life. Been through so much and finally, I made it there. And on top of all, the best leader award is like icing to the cake. Though my sister is laughing at me when I don on the hard hat 'cause she thinks it looks funny. haha. Graduation dinner's pictures up next week :)
Though receiving the best leader award seems like a big hoo ha, it is actually far from it. It just means more work for me and I'm feeling it now. The expectations are breathing down on me and it feels so heavy. Sometimes, it is so heavy that you can hardly breath. But nevertheless, I must live up to the name of one. No matter how hard it is.
(5:56 PM)
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Okay, no pictures YET for this week. Ultra busy with the graduation dinner. It was like OMG hectic. Pretty much a one man show, or two men show because of my failure to set up a committee. Damn.
But thank god, everything went okay yesterday night other than the slight drizzle that almost drove me nuts. It's a good experience to organise such a moderate scale event, and I've learnt quite a lot. Now time to go back to camp and er. picture post will come next weekend k! haha. so long as I dont get confined.... yeah.
haha. good luck to all A level students. haha.
(6:36 PM)
Sunday, November 08, 2009
2 more days to our grand passing out ceremony. It's true for all divers that when we look back at the things we've went through to gain that very badge, we would most often than not, smile. It's been a freaking long way. 8 months of training that we would never experience in the normal army institutes. We suffered, endured and live through it. 11th November 2009, it's a day that belongs to 31st batch. On that day, we'll cheer, laugh and smile at what we've achieved and how far we have come.
Get ready for some influx of photos on my blog. haha. Though I foresee very little guests because my blog has been so dead. But nonetheless, I hope for those who see those very photos can share our joy and understand the pain and pride we felt. While I'm typing this very post, I'm actually smiling because all the memories are actually flooding into my mind. I've been through "shit", and how often do people subject themselves to "shit".
NDU. What an experience.
(2:40 PM)
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Graduation is drawing closer. 11th November. We'll soon have our heads held high, and so proudly proclaim ourselves as DIVERS :) It's a thought too beautiful to even think about.
Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause,
I can't fight it anymore.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one.
I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't come,
but I lost all control
And I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without,
I just need you now.
Another shot of whiskey,
Can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one.
I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call,
But I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without,
I just need you now.
(Whoa Whoa)
Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
It's a quarter after one.
I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call,
But I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without,
I just need you now.
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now
(7:39 AM)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
My blog was screwed up for the past two weeks because I couldn't find much motivation to fix it up. Not that I found any motivation now. Maybe it's because I dislike the messiness of it when I come to my blog to listen to some music.
Whatever it is, it's somewhat fixed now. Gonna leave it untouched for the next one week. Graduation is coming soon. Real soon. I can't wait for it. Finally. It's gonna come to an end really soon. But all the planning now is whew~
I wish you luck.
(5:00 PM)
Saturday, October 03, 2009
I have so much to say, but words got in the way.
Teach me how.
Life in camp is tiring as usual. My state of mind is in a mess. Still in a mess. I'm really tired and I want to run away from all these. But I know I can't, I can't run away and leave this mess. I want a break people. I even grew tired of complaining.
I watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.
I. miss. you.
(2:56 PM)
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Latest music craze.
Owl City - Fireflies
I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
Life's such a drag now.
I wish someone would just come along and say,
"Let me give you a hand."
and the only way I learn
to hear your voice
is through the answering machine.
Sometimes,
people get to somewhere,
by going nowhere.
(11:54 AM)